


Human, All Too Human

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: Fraxus [19]
Category: Fairy Tail
Genre: Character Death, Death, Denial, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Friendship/Love, Grief/Mourning, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Loss, Loss of Control, M/M, Major Illness, Nightmares, Team as Family, demonic transformation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-17
Updated: 2018-11-17
Packaged: 2019-08-20 21:08:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 15,911
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16563164
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: Tartaros was long defeated, the guild was together once more and growing by the day, but the past was not so willing to stay forgotten. Laxus and the Raijinshu are forced to face this fact when one of their own falls victim to that past.





	Human, All Too Human

    They were in the middle of a battle when Freed first realised that something was wrong. If he was honest he had felt out of sorts for the past couple of weeks, but when he’d approached Wendy she had been unable to find anything wrong, and he had eventually dismissed it as weariness as they had done a string of high-level jobs in a row. Therefore, he was caught by surprise when he tried to spring into the gap that Bickslow had just created for him, only for all the strength to disappear from his legs, and he found himself crashing heavily to his knees with a pained groan, his sword clattering to the side as he managed to catch himself at the last moment. _What the hell is going on?_

“Freed?!” Evergreen was the first to realise that he had fallen, her voice shrill with concern and he lifted his head to see her trying to get to him only for her path to be blocked by another mage. However, her cry had alerted the other two, and he watched through strangely blurring eyes as Bickslow cleared a path for the panicked looking Dragon-slayer now bolting towards him. _Laxus…_ He didn’t want to worry the Dragon-slayer, so he tried to get his feet under himself, but his body really didn’t want to respond to his commands, and he found himself listing to the side instead. _Laxus…I…I can’t get up…_

“Freed!” Suddenly Laxus was there, crouching down beside him and wrapping an arm around him, and Freed hated the fact that he had to lean against the older man as the last of his strength fled, leaving Laxus as the only thing keeping him upright.

“I’m fine…” Freed murmured, but it didn’t sound convincing even to his own ears, and he couldn’t bring himself to look at Laxus as he heard the Dragon-slayer let out a disbelieving snort. Instead, he shifted his gaze back to the fight, only to close his eyes as the world swam in and out of focus around him, and he raised a suddenly trembling hand to his mouth as his stomach rolled. _What is this?_

“Freed what it is? What’s wrong?” Laxus was frantic, hands gently brushing Freed’s hair out of the way so that he could peer into the Rune Mage’s face, and the worry in his voice forced Freed to coax his eyes open once more although it took longer than he liked for the Dragon-slayer’s face to come into focus. Blinking, he frowned as he saw the sheer concern in his mate’s eyes, and with a huge amount of effort he managed to shift his hand until it was brushing the Dragon-slayer’s cheek, lips quirking up as despite the situation Laxus leant into the touch. “Freed, answer the damn questions,” the Lightning mage ordered sternly as he realised that he was getting distracted.

“I don’t…know,” his voice broke as he tried to take a deep breath, only for his breath to catch in his throat and his eyes widened in alarm. _I can’t breathe…_ It felt as though someone was choking him, and he gagged, hands shifting to his throat. _Air…why can’t I get air?_ He was vaguely aware of Laxus’s alarmed voice close to his ear, and gentle hands supporting him as the Dragon-slayer tried to work out how to help, but he couldn’t focus on anything but the suffocating sensation that was currently overwhelming him. _Air I need air…I need air…_

    The world was fading in and out of focus now, his eyes becoming heavy as his body began to give out on him. _I’m sorry…_ he thought as he caught a glimpse of worried blue eyes, sagging against the Dragon-slayer as his hands slowly fell away from his throat as the last of his strength fled him. _Laxus…I’m…_ Everything dissolved around him and the last thing he was aware of was the heart-broken expression on his mate’s face before the world disappeared.

_Laxus…_

****

   Laxus was pacing anxiously back and forth at the end of Freed’s bed, only the fact that he would be in Porlyusica’s way as she examined the Rune mage stopping him from reclaiming his spot by Freed’s side, and his hands clenched at his sides. _Freed._  It had taken them two days to get him back to Magnolia. Two long, terrifying days, and aside from the odd moment of semi-awareness, Freed hadn’t woken properly since passing out in his arms, and while Laxus wasn’t ready to admit it aloud, he was terrified. It had been a long time since he had seen Freed that frightened and weak, and he knew that it would be a long time before he could forget the sight and sound of his mate struggling to breathe.

    Sighing he glanced across at the neighbouring bed where Ever and Bickslow were currently perched, watching over Freed and studying Porlyusica’s every move. They had managed to wrap up the rest of the fight because Laxus hadn’t even been able to think about leaving Freed’s side, and he knew that more than one of their opponents was facing an extended hospital stay as they hadn’t been holding back. As soon as they had finished, they had been at his side, faces pale and drawn with worry as they realised that Freed was unconscious, and he didn’t think he’d heard them say a word more than necessary since they got back. He wished that he had the words to comfort them, but the fear and dread pooling in his stomach made it impossible for him to find the words and with a soft huff of defeat he let himself follow their gaze, his heart aching at the sight that met his eyes.

    Freed was always pale-skinned, it was something that they always teased him about, especially on the rare occasions they had taken a holiday and the rest of them had caught the sun and yet he was as pale as ever. However, this paleness was terrifying to behold as it made him look almost as though they had lost him already, only the restless movements and beads of sweat clinging to his skin telling them that he was still with them, that he was still fighting. Laxus’s hands clenched even tighter, recalling how clammy Freed’s hand had felt in his just a short while before and he took a half-step closer to the bed as though drawn by an invisible thread. _Freed, please hold on,_ he pleaded with a hint of desperation, staring at the dark shadows underlying the Rune mage’s eyes.

    To his eyes at least it looked almost like Freed was fading away right in front of their eyes, even the short time that had already passed he seemed like he had become a shadow of himself, normally delicate features appearing vulnerable in a way they never had before. Even worse, at least for Laxus, was the strained breathing and the way his chest seemed to struggle to rise and fall with each breath, to the point where he found himself waiting for each breath for fear that it might not be followed by another. Every now and then the sound of Freed’s breathing was intercepted by a barely audible whimper, which was deafening to the Dragon-slayer’s sensitive ears, and he gritted his teeth with each one, hating the fact that Freed was in pain and there was nothing he could do about it.

“Porlyusica…” He began, unable to bear the silence any longer, needing to know what was wrong with his mate and how he could help and he didn’t even flinch as she straightened and levelled him with a glare. “Please…”

“I’m not sure,” the healer admitted after a moment, and Laxus blinked at her, the words taking a moment to process. _You’re not sure?_ That wasn’t what he wanted to hear. He needed answers. Freed needed answers. However, he wasn’t given a chance to protest as Evergreen had sprung out of her seat, eyes flashing behind her glasses as she rounded on the healer.

“But…” Evergreen protested.

“His symptoms are similar to the ones you all displayed during the Tartarus incident,” Porlyusica replied grimly, and they all fell silent for a moment. The memory of that time wasn’t a pleasant one, and both Evergreen and Bickslow shot a worried look at Laxus, well aware that he had never truly forgiven himself for being unable to protect them and the town back then. “But…” _That shouldn’t be possible,_ she added silently as she turned back to her patient as he shifted restlessly, a small whimper escaping as his face twisted with pain. _And yet it’s almost exactly the same…_

“But we haven’t had a chance to come into contact with magic barrier particles since then,” Bickslow pointed out, and Laxus’s eyes narrowed as he reached up to rub at his chest, hoping that his teammates wouldn’t notice although he caught Porlyusica’s eyes narrowing at the gesture. “So how…?”

“That’s why I said that I wasn’t sure,” the healer snapped levelling a glare at both of them, before turning to Laxus, knowing that he would have a better idea of Freed’s health than the others because no matter how stubborn the pair were, they were never able to hide stuff from one another. “Has he had any symptoms before this?”

“He mentioned feeling a bit under the weather,” Laxus admitted with a scowl. He had fussed at the time to the point that Freed had got so annoyed that he’d trapped him in their bedroom for a couple of hours, only releasing him when the Dragon-slayer had promised to calm down a little, but now he was cursing himself for not pushing the issue further. “I think he even went to see Wendy, but she couldn’t find anything…”

“I’ll speak to her then,” Porlyusica said after a moment, before catching the dark expression that had appeared briefly on the Dragon-slayer’s face and quickly adding. “Although if this is related to those barrier particles, her magic wouldn’t have been able to detect it or help.” _If it is, I’m not sure what we’re going to do…_

“Can’t you do anything for him now?” Laxus pleaded as Freed whimpered again, throwing his head back against the pillow, and this time the Lightning mage couldn’t resist the urge to move to his side, reaching out to grasp Freed’s hand in his own in the hopes that his presence would help soothe the Rune Mage. _Freed…_

“I’m reluctant to do too much until we know exactly what’s happening,” Porlyusica replied, knowing that it wasn’t the answer he wanted, and she was unsurprised when her words were met with a scowl, but she wasn’t about to endanger Freed. “For now, we just need to keep his temperature down and make sure he gets plenty of rest. If he wakes up, make sure that he stays in bed.”

“He’s not going to like that,” Evergreen muttered with a faint hint of amusement. For all that he was the mother hen of their team, constantly making sure that they got the rest they needed when ill or injured, he was the worst patient of them all and more than once they had, had to take turns guarding him to make sure that he didn’t try to escape.

“I don’t care,” Laxus growled, although his eyes were soft as he reached up to brush unruly green hair out of Freed’s face, easily able to imagine the pout that they were going to be faced with when the Rune mage woke up to be told he had to rest. “He’s not going to move from that bed.” Thankfully he had plenty of experience of dealing with Freed when he was in that mood, and he knew just how to get the Rune mage to listen to reason, for a short while at least.

“I’ll go and find Wendy,” Porlyusica stated, knowing that her patient was in the best possible hands for the time being, and eager to find an answer before he could take a turn for the worse. “Please come and get me if anything changes.” Waiting until she got three nods of acknowledgement she glanced one last time at her patient, before hurrying for the door, well aware that Makarov would be waiting to demand answers as well.

“Do you think that it could be because of that bastard?” Bickslow asked cautiously after a few minutes of silence, his puppets happily echoing him and he hastily silenced them as he glanced at the bed, not wanting to disturb Freed and his hands clenched as he stared at the smaller man. _Freed…_ He knew that the swordsman had taken that incident hard, both because he felt that he had failed all of them by not being able to protect them…but because he had truly thought that the town had been saved, finding out afterwards that, that had been a lie had crushed him. _It isn’t fair, why is this happening now? And why to him?_

“I don’t know,” Laxus muttered tightly before sinking into the seat beside Freed’s bed, cradling the swordsman’s hand in his, eyes intent as he resumed his previous activity of watching the strained rise and fall of Freed’s chest. _I hope not…_ He had caught the flash of fear in the healer’s eyes when she’d mentioned the possibility, and while he resisted the urge to demand to know what she was afraid of, it hadn’t stopped the chill that had crept over him. _Freed…you have to be all right…you have to come back to me,_ he pleaded silently, unable to bear the thought that this might be something that they couldn’t fix.

    Apparently, the other two had picked up on his reluctance to talk about it, as they had fallen silent, quietly moving more chairs across so that they could gather around Freed’s bed, determined that he would at least have familiar faces to wake up to even if they didn’t have answers by then. Evergreen hesitated for a moment before reaching out to grasp Freed’s other hand, struggling not to drop it as she realised how clammy he was to the touch, and after a moment Bickslow’s hand covered hers, and they sat like that in silence, willing the Rune mage to hang on.

_Freed…_

****

That evening:

    Laxus shifted uncomfortably on the chair, silently making a note to talk to the old man about getting more comfortable chairs for the infirmary…or larger ones, he amended, admitting that the others hadn’t seemed to have as many issues as he was having. The other chairs were currently unoccupied as he had banished Evergreen and Bickslow to get some proper rest and some food, silencing their suggestion that he should do the same with a dark glare, there was no way he was going to leave Freed until he had woken and possibly even not at that point. Porlyusica’s conversation with Wendy had shed no further light on the situation, and he knew that they were currently holed up in the library with Makarov and Levy in search of anything that would explain what was happening, and he couldn’t shake the fear that this was related to Tempester.

“Lax…us…” The broken whisper immediately caught the Dragon-slayer’s attention, and he turned his head back to the bed so quickly he was surprised that he didn’t give himself whiplash and a small smile crept onto his face for the first time in days as he met sleepy, turquoise eyes. A sleepy Freed was always one of his favourite sights as it was one of the few times that the Rune mage let down all his barriers, although it was ruined by the fact that this hadn’t been a normal sleep.

“Hey,” he greeted softly as he reached out to brush his fingers across Freed’s forehead, struggling not to react to the clammy feeling and curling his other hand around the Rune Mage’s once more and squeezing it gently, waiting patiently for the hazy gaze to focus on his face. “How are you feeling?”

“Tired…sore…” Freed replied slowly after a moment, not liking how much effort it took him to take stock of his own body, and he felt Laxus’s hand tighten around his at his response. His eyes were already beginning to feel heavy again even though he had only been awake for a couple of minutes, and he blinked as he struggled to stay awake. _What is going on?_ He didn’t need the worry he could see in the Lightning mage’s eyes to know that it was bad, and wearily he shifted his attention back to Laxus’s face, struggling for a moment before he managed to get his voice to work again. “What…happened?”

“You don’t remember?” Laxus asked anxiously, and Freed frowned in concern even as he tried to get his hazy thoughts back into some kind of order. _Job…we were on a job…_ his eyes widened as he recalled the sensation of not being able to breathe, and he clutched at Laxus’s hand, his breathing speeding up as the memory surged to the front. _No…not again…_ “Easy…easy, just breath,” Laxus was leaning over him now, still holding his hand tightly, while the other came to rest gently on the opposite shoulder. “You need to calm down Freed, you’re safe…” There was a shadow in the blue eyes that belied his words, and with a huge amount of effort Freed focused on calming himself down so that he could ask the questions simmering just below the surface.

“What…aren't you telling me?” He asked once he had calmed enough to get the words out, not liking the tension that appeared in the Dragon-slayer’s body at his words.

“We’re not entirely sure what caused it yet,” Laxus began hesitantly, wishing that Freed had waited a little longer before demanding answers if only so that he had something for definitive to tell him. However, he knew by the stubborn set to the Rune mage’s face that he wasn’t going to back down on the issue, and Porlyusica had warned them that he needed to stay as calm as possible. Freed’s eyes narrowed as he caught the hesitation, and his voice was soft as he prompted the Dragon-slayer to continue.

“But?”

“Porlyusica thinks that it might be related to what happened with Tempester and the magic barrier particles,” Laxus began hesitantly, his voice dropping to a low snarl as it always did when he spoke about the demon and shakily Freed managed to coax his free hand to move, reaching up to brush Laxus’s cheek in the hopes of calming him. Laxus jolted at the touch, but his expression softened immediately as he reached up to catch the trembling hand, pressing a gentle kiss against it before meeting Freed’s gaze once more. “She’s still working on a diagnosis, but she wants you on bed-rest until we find out for sure…” His voice broke slightly at the end, the thought that Freed might be suffering effects from that incident even now had hit him hard.

“I can help research….” Freed suggested, struggling to stop himself from panicking as Laxus’s words settled over him and there was a heavyweight in his stomach as he thought back to how he’d felt back then just after Tempester’s attack. _It’s just like it was back then…_ and yet it wasn’t, the symptoms felt the same now that he was thinking about it, but there was something in his gut that said that this was worse…much worse…

“You’re on bed rest!” Laxus scolded at once, aware that Freed always had a tendency to let those words go in one ear and the other, but he had caught the fear that had appeared in his mate’s eyes, and he knew that Freed was trying to push it away and that tempered his irritation at the man’s stubbornness. _Freed…_ He desperately wanted to be able to erase that fear, but at the same time, he didn’t dare say something until they knew for sure.

“But…”

“Freed…” Laxus sounded so solemn that the Rune mage’s protests died away immediately, and he stared wide-eyed up at the Dragon-slayer, startled by how open his mate’s expression was and something twisted in his chest as he caught the glimmer of fear in blue eyes. _You already know…or at least suspect that it’s going to be bad…_ his stomach churned at that realisation, unable to recall the last time he had seen Laxus looked like that, and he opened his mouth to try and say something to reassure him, but the words died on his lips…and he was silenced as the Dragon-slayer continued in a much softer tone. “You scared us. You scared me, so please listen to us for the time being.”

   _No, I need to do something…_ He desperately wanted to protest, needing to do something to hold this fear at bay, but he found himself unable to with that confession echoing in his ears. _When was the last time you admitted to being afraid?_

“All right…” He agreed, blinking heavily and finding it worryingly difficult to coax his eyes open once more, and he had to reluctantly admit that he was in no state to be getting out of bed, which did nothing to ease his growing fear. Laxus had relaxed at his agreement, but the concern didn’t fade from his expression as he studied Freed for a moment, watching how he was struggling once more to keep his eyes open, and the Rune mage jolted as warm fingers stroked tenderly through his hair.

“Go back to sleep,” he ordered softly, and Freed let out a sleepy noise of protest. He didn’t need words to tell him he’d been out of it for more than a day, well aware that he must’ve been out of it for a while for Laxus to look so relieved to see him awake, and he was worried that something else might happen if he closed his eyes again now. “I’ll be here when you wake up, and hopefully we’ll have more answers for you by then.” _I hope…_

“Promise?” Freed whispered, forcing his eyes open yet again and tilting his head towards the Dragon-slayer, feeling somewhat pitiful for asking. But the fear of what might be wrong with him was all-consuming, and he needed to know that Laxus would be there, trusting the Dragon-slayer to protect him and to tell him the truth about what was going on.

“Promise,” Laxus replied softly, leaning forward to press a gentle kiss to Freed’s lips, pulling back as he felt the Rune mage trying to lean into the kiss. “Sleep,” he ordered, ignoring the childish pout he received for his words and a small smile played across his lips as despite that Freed’s eyes drifted shut almost immediately, his breathing evening out and to his relief, it sounded a little easier than it had before.

    Despite that sign of improvement, his smile disappeared as soon as he was certain that Freed was properly asleep once more. It had been hard encouraging him to sleep so soon after he’d woken, and a small, selfish part of him had wanted to keep him awake, but he had quashed that desire after Porlyusica’s warnings that he needed rest had echoed in the back of his mind. Still, there was a faint quiver to his fingers as he brushed them against Freed’s cheeks, and he had to fight the urge to try and rouse the Rune mage again, just to check that he hadn’t slipped completely under. It didn’t help that he couldn’t forget the glimmer of fear in his mate’s eyes, and his expression darkened.

 _I promise we will find out what’s happening, and how to stop it…I promise…._     

****

    The group researching in the library had been reduced to Porlyusica, Mira and Wendy by the time the sun was thinking of rising the next day. Evergreen and Bickslow had been sent home to rest after the healer had realised they had disobeyed Laxus’s orders, pointing out more sharply than she’d intended that they weren’t going to be any use to anyone if they kept this up…although she had managed to soften her words by pointing out that Freed was going to need them by his side more than anything else. Levy had long since fallen asleep in the corner, and they didn’t have the heart to rouse her, while Porlyusica had chased Makarov out a couple of hours before for fear that he would make himself ill. Mira had come to join them at that point, quietly picking up where Makarov had let off, and Wendy had stubbornly refused to rest, and Porlyusica hadn’t been able to bring herself to argue as she knew that the Dragon-slayer was worried that she had missed something when she’d examined Freed.

    However, despite their efforts, they hadn’t come across anything that would explain Freed’s condition accept a brief reference that led them straight back to magic barrier particles…

“The barrier particles attack just attack Ethernano right?” Mira asked suddenly as she glanced up from the book she was flicking through, eyes narrowed in thoughts as she glanced towards Porlyusica for an answer and the healer nodded. “What about his demonic side…? If it only affects humans and mages, then could that had changed how it affected him?” It had been bothering her that only Freed seemed to be showing the symptoms of relapse, until she had remembered his transformation…the barrier particles had come from a demon in the first place, so it stood to reason that, that part of him might have had a stronger tolerance towards it.

 “It would explain why he was able to stay conscious longer than the others and have enough strength to get them back here,” Porlyusica mused, she had been curious about that during the incident itself but had dismissed it as unimportant back then as he had been just as badly affected by the others. However, even if that was the case, it didn’t explain how the particles had managed to survive her cure, and why they were reappearing after so long. “But why would it be playing up now?”

“It’s possible that his demonic side has been concealing it, waiting until an opportune moment,” Mira replied grimly, aware that she was now the centre of intention and she sighed before holding up her hand, allowing her magic to flare just enough to transform her hand before continuing. “This magic or curse may allow us to use it, but I know that my Satan Soul would happily escape my control if it were given a chance. I don’t know that much about his demonic spell, but I imagine that it has a similar nature.” It was something that had already terrified her about her magic, the thought of what she might be capable of if it went berserk and she knew that Freed had come close to the edge more than once, although Laxus had always been able to bring him back.

“Damn it,” the healer cursed as she shot to her feet, irritation written across her face as she slammed her hand on the desk. “That would explain why my scans didn’t show it, I was searching for magic barrier particles…but if his magic has corrupted it…” It had been the main factor throwing off her diagnosis, and she cursed herself for not considering that possibility earlier, although she wasn’t as familiar with Freed’s magic as she was with the other’s.

“But it would still have the same effect right?” Wendy asked with a frown, finally joining the conversation and Porlyusica turned to her, gesturing sharply for her to continue as she realised the girl wasn’t finished. “It would affect his ability to use his rune magic, so couldn’t you test him that way?”

**

    Laxus had spent a long, restless night beside Freed, occasionally dropping into a light doze only to jerk awake at the slightest noise from his mate. The Rune mage’s sleep had been equally restless, especially as his temperature had threatened to spike several times over the night, and the Dragon-slayer had spent the time alternating between trying to cool him down and comforting when Freed had cried out in his sleep, pleading and apologising for things that Laxus only half understood. Still, the sound of his voice had seemed to settle Freed, and so he had kept up a constant stream of words. Ranging from gentle encouragements and reassurance to murmured plans of what they could do when Freed was better, refusing to heed the small voice at the back of his mind that whispered that maybe Freed wouldn’t get better.

    However, there was a sense of relief when Bickslow and Evergreen reappeared at the crack of dawn looking a little better than they had the day before, although it was clear that they hadn’t slept much either. He stubbornly refused to leave, but he did allow them to take over the task of talking to Freed, content to sit there and hold his mate’s hand and listen to the pair talking in soft tones. Although he caught the way, they faltered when talking of the future, his expression darkening as he realised that they were fighting the same fears that were assailing him. _Freed…we need you to fight this,_ he thought as his gaze shifted back to the Rune mage’s face, relieved to see that the flushed cheeks were lighter than they had been and that Freed appeared to be sleeping relatively peacefully for the time being.

   The Dragon-slayer was on the verge of dozing off, lulled by the quiet voices beside him and the fact that with the rest of the Raijinshu there to watch over him Freed was perfectly safe when the infirmary door opened behind them. All traces of sleep immediately disappearing from his thoughts as he caught the grim, worried expressions on Porlyusica, Wendy and Mirajane’s faces as they hurried inside. The latter worrying him the most as it knew that it took a lot to remove even the faintest trace of her usual smile, and his fingers curled protectively around Freed’s hand, and he couldn’t stop the warning growl that slipped out as they moved towards the bed.

“What’s going on?” Bickslow demanded, and Laxus was happy to let him take over, instead focusing on shifting closer to Freed even though he knew that his guildmates weren’t a threat to his mate.

“We need to test something,” Porlyusica explained, ably demonstrating that she was used to overly protective Dragon-slayers when she turned towards Laxus with her next request, knowing that there was no way she would be allowed to approach at the moment. “Can you wake him up?”

“What are you testing?” Laxus asked, not liking the idea of having to wake Freed when he had finally settled into a peaceful sleep, although the fact that the usually highly alert mage had managed to sleep through all their voices was a worrying sign all on its own. Porlyusica sighed, wishing that she could just be her usual demanding self, especially as they could be wasting precious time if Freed’s problems were indeed related to the barrier particles but she bit back the irritation as the sight of the worried glance he was shooting towards the Rune Mage.

“I’d rather explain when Freed is awake to hear what I have to say.”

    Laxus hesitated for a moment, studying her expression intently, but there was nothing to show that this wasn’t absolutely necessary and when he glanced across at Mira for confirmation she gave a grim nod. Still not happy about the thought of disturbing Freed’s sleep he turned and reached up to gently brush the Rune mage’s cheek, baulking slightly as he realised that his temperature had risen a little since he’d last checked it.

“Freed,” he called softly as he nudged Freed’s shoulder, lips quirking as Freed mumbled something that sounded distinctly like a childish protest before stilling once more. This was a familiar sight when they were home…no matter how much he was always up and ready to go on a job if they had nowhere they absolutely had to be then it was a complete nightmare trying to rouse him. Ignoring his audience, he leant forward and brushed his lips gently across Freed’s, smirking as he pulled away to find turquoise eyes opened to slits as Freed glowered up at him. _Never fails,_ he thought smugly before his expression softened as he realised that Freed was threatening to fall asleep again already, and he stroked his fingers against the too hot cheek to keep him awake. “Hey…can you wake up for me?”

“Lax…” Freed yawned cutting off his words, blinking sleepily for a moment before letting his eyes drift shut again.

“Come on open up your eyes,” Laxus ordered, feeling awful when his mate mumbled out a sleepy protest and shot him a pleading look, obviously wanting nothing more than to go back to sleep. “You can go back to sleep soon, Porlyusica needs to test something…”  Apparently, Freed hadn’t realised that they had company as he jolted at the mention of the healer, blinking as he twisted his head in the direction that Laxus had just gestured. A slightly embarrassed expression appearing as he realised that he had been ignoring his own teammates as well and he opened his mouth to apologise, only for the healer to cut him off.

“You don’t need to apologise,” she told him bluntly, but there was a softness to her eyes that told him that she wasn’t really annoyed and he was just beginning to wonder what on earth was going on, as she was normally never this nice regardless of who the patient was. “Are you awake enough to listen to what I’m saying?”

    _No…_ He wanted to protest. All he wanted to do was go back to sleep and hope that it would get rid of this awful, empty feeling that seemed to have consumed his body overnight. His thoughts were bleary from sleep, and he could feel the feverish heat behind a headache pounding through his head, and he had to blink back tears. He felt awful, and the thought of having to listen to something and actually comprehend it…let alone doing anything…was more than he could bear at the moment, but he knew that he didn’t have a choice, not if he wanted to know what the hell was wrong with him and so he gave a reluctant nod.

“I’m sure that Laxus has told you that we thought that there might be a possibility that this was related to the magic barrier particles you were exposed to back then?”  Porlyusica asked, catching the flinch that went through the Dragon-slayer which confirmed her suspicions, but she waited until she got a tiny nod from Freed to show that he was still listening, although she didn’t miss the fear that had appeared in the Rune Mage’s eyes.  “I wasn’t able to diagnose it as easily as last time, but Mira has suggested that might be because not all of your magic is human.” Comprehension dawned on both his and Laxus’ faces after a moment, followed by alarm and she saw the other two Raijinshu stiffening as the implications dawned on them, but thankfully they remained silent for the time being.

“My transformation?”

“Exactly, it would explain how you were able to bring your team back to the guild back then and stay conscious long enough to tell us what happened.”

“What does that have to do with him being ill now?” Laxus demanded, having picked up on the increased tension in his mate’s body and he knew it was a combination of having to remember what had happened back then and talking about the demonic aspect of his magic. It was the only part of his magic that he had never been fully comfortable with, although he had long since learnt how to push past that and use it, but he knew that Freed had never lost the fear of losing control.

“We’re concerned that, that part of his magic might have concealed some of those particles and they’re only now being released into his body.”

 “But…” Evergreen said hesitantly, taking a small step as a hopeful expression appeared on her face. “It would be a smaller dose, so…”

“It doesn’t work like that,” Porlyusica hated to cut off that hopeful thought, especially as she saw Freed flinch at her words, but she knew that the truth was needed at this point. “However, this is still a hypothesis at this point, and we need to find out if we’re right before we can start to work on finding a cure.” _If there is one…_

    Freed could feel the panic and fear beginning to churn in his stomach, but he lacked the energy to act on it. Besides, they weren’t alone, and he was desperate to avoid showing any more weakness in front of people outside of their team. It wasn’t that he liked Laxus and his teammates seeing him like this, but he knew that he could be at his weakest in front of them and they wouldn’t judge him or leave him. And that was what he needed at the moment, not the quiet fear and uncertainty that he could see in Mira and Wendy’s eyes as they looked at him. He closed his eyes for a moment, trying to calm himself and it was much harder than he wanted to admit to coax them open again.

“What do you want me to do…?” He couldn’t quite keep the tremor out of his voice, and he saw the Dragon-slayer’s eyes darkening at his tone, knowing that his mate already knew exactly how he was feeling. He had never been able to hide anything from Laxus, and that had only got worse since they became more than friends, but he had never cursed that fact until now. _Please don’t look at me with those eyes…_ Seeing Laxus frightened and worried was worse than what was happening to him, and he carefully turned his gaze towards Porlyusica in the hopes that by the time he looked back, the Lightning mage would have managed to get his expression back under control.

“Freed I know you want to rest,” Porlyusica said softly as she took a couple of steps forward, not liking how much worse he looked this morning. Forcing a small smile onto her face when he blinked sleepily up at her, unable to hide the large yawn that followed and she knew that he could fall asleep any moment, and she wished that she could let him, but they had to know. “But can you try to cast a spell for me?” Her voice was more gentle that Freed could ever remember it being before, and he felt himself waking up more as he realised that, that was probably a bad sign…although the grim expressions on Mira and Wendy’s faces were also worrying, and he hesitated for a moment before nodding, not sure if he wanted to know the answer to whatever question they were trying to answer.

    Struggling to push himself up he glanced across at Laxus, relieved when the Dragon-slayer immediately moved to help him without forcing him to admit defeat aloud. Although he couldn’t keep the scowl off his face as he realised that his mate was doing most of the work as he was pulled upright before being eased into position against the pillows. Warm fingers curled around his hand for a moment, and Laxus gave it the gentlest squeeze before moving back to give him room and the Rune mage was hard pressed not to reach out for him. _I’m scared…_ Blue eyes met his gaze and held it, and he realised that Laxus already knew and that the Dragon-slayer felt the same, and somehow it helped to realise that he wasn’t alone, even though the mere fact that Laxus looked frightened was disturbing in its own right.

    Still, he drew strength from the Dragon-slayer’s presence, not glancing away as he raised a shaky hand in front of him, struggling to marshal his thoughts into some sort of order. It took him several minutes to gather himself enough to feel confident to attempt a spell, and holding Laxus’s gaze he began to write, only to falter when nothing appeared in front of him and he could hear a sharp intake of breath from someone. Refusing to give in he swallowed nervously, his hand trembling more than ever as he tried again and again, silently pleading with his magic to give him something… _please, even one rune…please…_ He was completely unaware of the fact that tears had begun to trickle down his cheeks, his breathing beginning to hitch as he tried again and again, and yet nothing he tried gave him even the slightest spark of magic.

“Freed…stop,” Laxus was the one to break the painful silence that had engulfed the infirmary, his voice thick with emotions as he moved to Freed’s side once more, and he was trembling almost as badly as the Rune mage as he reached up to grab Freed’s arm to stop him continuing with his frantic effort.

“N-no.”

“Freed,” Laxus whispered, swallowing thickly before gently pulling Freed into his arms moments before the younger man dissolved into broken sobs, the sound bringing tears to the Dragon-slayer’s eyes as well. The Rune mage was clutching him tightly enough to bruise, but he didn’t care, and instead, he focused on shooting a glare towards the others, relieved when they immediately seemed to get the message quietly slipping away while he clung to Freed. He knew that they needed to talk and that both he and Freed needed to know exactly what this meant and what they could do about it, but for now, nothing mattered but the sobbing mage in his arms.

“Laxus…I’m sorry,” Freed whispered several minutes later, his voice hoarse from crying and muffled from where he had buried his face against the Dragon-slayer’s chest, and Laxus’s expression darkened at the whispered apology. _Freed…_

“What the hell are you apologising for?” Laxus demanded with a hint of real anger in his voice, although he made no effort to pull away, instead tightening his hold on Freed as guilt immediately followed the spark of anger. “This isn’t your fault…” _I should have protected you back then,_ he had thought that he was finally beginning to move on from what had happened back then, and he wanted to howl out to the heavens that it wasn’t fair that it was coming back to haunt them now…that it was hurting Freed… _again._

“But…” Freed whispered as he drew back just enough to peer up at Laxus, the blond stiffening as he took in the tears still coursing down his mate’s cheeks. “What if…?”

“No!” Laxus cut him off sharply, easily guessing what he was trying to say by the shadowed look in his eyes, and he released the Rune mage so that he could cusp his face in his hands, making sure that Freed couldn’t look away.   “We still have time; we can still find a way to stop this…whatever this is.” There was nothing in the turquoise eyes to show that Freed believed his words and he sighed, pulling the smaller man back into a hug, unsurprised when Freed promptly hid his face once more and settling for tightening his arms around him.

_I promise that we will find a way to fix this…_

****

A few hours later:

     Freed had cried himself to sleep after the failure with his magic, and no one had dared to approach the infirmary for a couple of hours afterwards, the air around it filled with the dark, stormy sensation that Laxus was releasing as he watched over his mate. Even Evergreen and Bickslow knew better than to draw too close when he was like that, and so they had retreated with the others to the library to set to work on trying to find some way to combat this, everyone highly aware of the time trickling away around them…around Freed. Porlyusica had taken on the duty of telling Makarov, and the rest of the guild exactly what was happening, aware that everyone had been waiting for news and she was once more awed by what her old friend had done with the guild as she was inundated with offers of help. Offers that she willingly accepted even if she was doubtful about how much they would actually help, knowing that they needed to feel like they were doing something…and that time was too short for her to be particular about who helped. Still, as she watched Erza and Makarov taking over the organisation, she hoped that the pair upstairs knew how everyone was rallying around them.

   However, whatever relief and hope she had derived from the guild’s actions when Laxus finally ventured from the infirmary at Freed’s request just after lunch, quietly informing her that the Rune Mage was awake and that he wanted answers. It was clear from his expression that he had wanted to wait, obviously worried about whether or not Freed was in any state to deal with those answers at the moment, but there was a resigned look in his eyes as he led her towards the guild that told her that he knew that this was necessary. Still, she waited for a moment when he disappeared into the infirmary, wanting to give them a moment to prepare themselves and needing a moment to gather her own thoughts, well aware that they weren’t going to like the answers that she had to give.

   When she finally stepped inside it was to find them both on the bed, the Dragon-slayer sat behind Freed with his arms wrapped around the younger man, and it was clear that it wasn’t just for comfort as all the colour seemed to have drained out of the Rune mage apart from the unhealthy flush in his chest. Part of her wanted to scold them for their position, but as she met Freed’s red-rimmed eyes she didn’t have the heart to go through with it and instead she merely narrowed her eyes at Laxus who met her gaze with hesitation, and with a sigh she settled into the seat that the Lightning mage had abandoned.

“Freed…”

“How long?” Freed’s voice was barely above a whisper, and yet in the quiet infirmary it sounded deafening, and Porlyusica saw the Dragon-slayer flinch, only to still when Freed raised a shaky hand to grip the ones crossed in front of his chest.  “How long until I…?” _Die…_ The word hung in the air, unspoken but undeniable and for a moment it felt as though all the air had been sucked out of the room, and Porlyusica had to close her eyes for a moment. As much as she tried to maintain a distance from people, the brats of this guild had wigged past her walls and for the first time she found herself truly hating her role as guild healer. However, she knew that she had to answer and after a moment she forced herself to open her eyes again, although it was even harder to bring herself to meet the Rune mage’s gaze.

“I don’t know,” Porlyusica admitted, knowing that it wasn’t the answer either of them wanted, and she was unsurprised when Laxus’s expression darkened, and she continued before he could voice any of the protests she could see in his eyes. “By all accounts, it’s a miracle you’re still here. If it were just the particles I would say a few days at most depending on your strength, but…”

“B-but?”

“We don’t know the interference from your demonic side is going to affect it,” she replied quietly, even Mira hadn’t been able to give a concrete answer, explaining that even her different Take-overs all had different needs and wants even though they were all part of her magic. However, the younger woman had agreed that there was probably only a couple of responses that they could expect, and the healer hesitated for a moment before continuing. “It could just mean that you will be able to fight against the barrier particles for longer, or…or it could mean that your demonic side will take over once your magic has been completely eradicated.”

“No…”

“I…” Porlyusica paused for a moment, watching with pained eyes as Freed hunched in on himself for a moment before turning so that he could bury his face against Laxus and she wished that she didn’t have to say the next bit after seeing that reaction. “I’m afraid that, that seems like the most likely scenario after speaking to Mira.” Neither of them had seen any way that the demonic side of his magic would give up on this opportunity to seize control, especially if it had concealed the barrier particles for all this time, and her expression tightened. _How do we fight something like this?_

“But you can stop it right?” Laxus demanded as he cradled Freed against him, his heart pounding painfully in his chest as he felt the tremors wracking his mate’s body. _Freed…this can’t be happening…this can’t be happening…_ Back when they were waiting for a diagnosis, it had seemed to impossible to imagine anything worse than sitting there not knowing anything, but now he almost wished that the healer hadn’t given them an answer. That he didn’t know what was happening, and there was more than a hint of desperation as he glanced up at her. “You have enough time to find a way to cure him?”

“I can’t guarantee anything,” she admitted heavily, the words weighing heavy on her as they both caught the choked sound that escaped the Rune Mage, his fingers curling deeper into the Dragon-slayer’s shirt as he tried to burrow closer to Laxus. Laxus’ expression was one of anguish as he glanced down at his mate, pressing a soft kiss against bed-mussed hair before turning pleading eyes towards her once more, sounding utterly lost as he tried to protest her answer.

“Porlyusica…”

“Please understand,” Porlyusica cut across his protest, her expression one of sorrow as she studied Freed for a moment before continuing quietly. “I have nothing left from the original cure, and even if I did it would still need to be altered as the barrier particles themselves have changed because of Freed’s magic.” _If it is even possible…_ It would involve trying to get one part of his magic to destroy another, and she honestly didn’t know if that could be done, or even if it should be done. There was no telling what it might do to him or his magic, but they were far enough away reaching that point for her to decide that it was better not to say that aloud at the moment, especially as she wasn’t sure how much more the pair could handle at the moment.

“So you’re just giving up?” Laxus growled.

“No,” Porlyusica denied immediately, crimson eyes flashing as she glared at him. Aware that he was lashing out of concern, but knowing that his words were probably doing more harm than he realised, and she glanced at Freed, praying that he was listening as well as she added strongly. “Even now the rest of the guild are searching for a cure or at least something to slow this down so that we can find a way to stop this.”

“And if you can’t…?” Freed had finally pulled back, turning to look at her and she was unsurprised to see damp tracks on his cheeks, although his eyes were dry now as he stared at her silently demanding an answer.

“Let’s cross that bridge if we come to it,” she replied firmly, wanting to cut off the despair she could see in his gaze, well aware that everything would be for nothing if he gave in now. Ignoring the dark look, Laxus shot her she reached out and gently grasped his hand which had fallen down to his side, squeezing it gently and holding his gaze as she continued. “For now we need you to rest and conserve your strength. At the moment I can help with some of the symptoms but that is all, so how long you have, depends a lot on your determination to hold on.”

“But…”

“Then we have nothing to fear,” Laxus cut in softly, not wanting to hear Freed doubting himself as he caught the tell-tale waver to his mate’s voice. “Freed is the strongest person I know,” he added glancing down and meeting Freed’s wide-eyed gaze, making sure not to shy away as he knew the Rune Mage would be looking for any trace of uncertainty. “You can beat this.”

“Laxus…” Freed felt his eyes welling up once more as he realised that the Dragon-slayer truly believed every word that he was saying, and there was a dull ache in his chest as he buried his face against Laxus once more. _I’m not that strong…I’m not sure that I’m strong enough to fight this…_ Yet he couldn’t bring himself to admit that aloud, not wanting to hurt his mate after Laxus had just shown how much faith he had him in, and yet he trembled as he pressed closer against the Lightning mage.

_I don’t want to become a monster…I don’t want to lose everything…I don’t want to lose Laxus…_

**

    Porlyusica left them alone shortly afterwards as there was nothing else she could tell them until they found something new, and it was clear that the only thing Freed wanted at the moment was Laxus, and she knew that the Dragon-slayer would keep a better eye on her patient than anyone else. There was a heavy weight on her shoulders as she headed for the library, and she just hoped that they could find something as she had a feeling that if they lost Freed they might also lose the Dragon-slayer, and there was no way Fairy Tail could bear either loss…let alone both.

*

  Freed was asleep again by the time that Evergreen and Bickslow returned, both of them banished from the library when it had become clear that they were more focused on worrying about their teammate than the books they were trying to read. Porlyusica had been able to bring herself to tell them what was happening, throwing herself into the research instead, and therefore it fell to Laxus to explain the situation to them. His words were faltering, and his gaze never left the Rune mage who was laid with his head nestled in the Dragon-slayer’s lap, pale face twisted with distress even in sleep. It had been crushing to see and hear their reactions, although even as they fell apart at the news, they remained quiet, not wanting to disturb Freed and he wished that he had the words to thank them for that.

 “This can’t be happening,” Evergreen whispered as she ran a damp cloth over the Rune mage’s face, lingering for a moment on his cheek as she stared down at him with red-rimmed eyes. She had long since run out of tears, but there was a faint tremble to her hands as she continued wiping the sweat off his skin, needing to feel that she was doing something to help. Bickslow was stood beside her, completely silent as he curled his fingers around Freed’s had, no trace of his usual exuberance to be seen. He hadn’t shown much of a reaction to the diagnosis, but the fact that his usually noisy dolls were currently slumped silently against the far wall was evidence of how he really felt.

   Laxus had nothing more to say. What use were words at this stage? He had vowed to become strong enough to keep them all safe, to keep his mate safe, only to have his own promise thrown back in his face by the fact that the damage had been done long before he had even made it.

_Freed…I’m so sorry._

****

Two days later:

   Laxus sighed as he stepped into their bedroom to find Freed once more asleep in the centre of the bed, the tray of food he had brought through completely untouched. It had been decided that it would be better for the pair of them to move Freed back to their flat. Both to give them some privacy as the constant stream of well-meaning visitors had been stressing the Rune mage out, but because being in the infirmary only served as a constant reminder that so far they still had nothing to combat the barrier particles that were slowly stealing the younger man away. It had seemed to help the day before as he had managed to coax Freed into eating, not a lot but enough to ease some of his worries, and the Rune mage had managed to stay awake long enough to read for a little while. Although that had turned out to be a bad idea as he had picked up the one he had been reading before their last job, an ancient guide to rune magic full of spells that he had wanted to practice. And the reminder that he might never get the chance to do so now had seen the book flying across the room, and he hadn’t managed to get a word out of the younger man for the rest of the day.

    He had hoped that Freed would have calmed a little overnight, and the Rune mage had seemed all right first thing when he had woken briefly and asked for some porridge…but it seemed as though that had been a fleeting improvement. Quietly he moved across to the bed and eased the tray aside, wondering whether he should ask Ever or Bickslow to ask Mira to send something for his mate to eat, unable to think of a time that Freed had been able to refuse her cooking. That was a thought for later though, as he didn’t have the heart to rouse the Rune mage again at the moment, not when he was curled up, his expression slightly more relaxed than it had been and his hands curled under his chin. This was his Freed, the one only he got to see, and he sank heavily onto the edge of the bed as he was hit once again by the thought that he might lose this.

“I can’t lose you,” he whispered softly, reaching out to tenderly brush his fingers through green hair, realising that he was trembling as he did so. Although it felt as though he had been trembling ever since he had watched Freed’s frantic attempts to summon his magic, and he knew that the only thing that could stop that was for someone to appear and say they had found a cure. _If that doesn’t happen…if we run out of time…if I lose Freed…_ He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to block out the thoughts, but he knew that it was a futile effort and after a moment he opened his eyes once more, unable to bear not being able to see his mate.

_Freed…_

**

   _Freed blinked as he found himself in the guild hall, frowning as he realised that he had no recollection of how he had got there or why he was there. He knew that they weren’t meant to be looking for a job at the moment and he vaguely recalled Laxus talking about them taking a break…together…and yet he knew even without looking that the Dragon-slayer wasn’t there. It had always been like that since the moment he had met the older man, he had always known when he was close…so where was he? If they were supposed to be together then usually there was nothing on Earthland that could drag the blond away, and Freed frowned before finally looking around, only for his breath to catch in his throat as he finally took in the scene around him._

_Blood…there was blood everywhere, and for a moment all he could focus on was the nausea that was rising in his throat, and he had no idea how he managed to fight back the urge to throw up. What the hell happened here? It took him a moment for him to be able to see past the red, and when he had, he wished that he hadn’t…his guild…his friends were sprawled around him, their eyes staring at him, completely devoid of life and yet strangely accusing, and he staggered back. Who could have done this? His foot hit something, and he stiffened, dread flooding him, and slowly he forced himself to turn, an inarticulate cry escaping as he found himself staring into wide, empty blue eyes and his legs gave way beneath him._

_“No…Laxus…please…” He had no idea how he found the strength to move, stretching out a shaking hand towards his mate only to freeze in horror as he took in the black skin and clawed hand that was inching closer to the Dragon-slayer. However, what was worse was the blood staining it, and comprehension dawned as he yanked his hand back, only for the demonic appendage to respond to his command. No…No…No… Denials raced through his head as he slowly forced himself to look down, and something shattered as he took in his demonic form and the blood covering him, dark memories forcing their way through his denials and he screamed as the realisation hit him._

_I did this…I became a monster…_

     Freed woke with the scream dying on his lips, his heart pounding and it took him a moment to realise that he was in the safety of their own bedroom. However, even that realisation wasn’t enough to quiet the panic flooding him, and with difficulty, he rolled onto his side hoping to find Laxus, but the room was empty, and it felt like he had just been hit in the stomach. _Where is he? It was a dream…it was a dream…wasn’t it?_ He forced himself to check his hands for blood, but even the sight of clean, pale skin…. his own normal, human skin, wasn’t enough to quell his fear and ignoring the fact that he had been ordered to stay in bed and rest he shoved the covers back. _I have to check…I have to know…_

    He hadn’t been allowed up on his own once since he’d woken, Laxus practically carrying him to the bathroom each time and joining him in the bath, and he hadn’t appreciated just how much he needed that thought until he slipped out of bed and tried to stand on shaky legs. It felt as though his entire body was made of jelly, there was just no strength there to support himself and defeat hit him a split second before he crumpled to the floor. He cried out as his head took the brunt of the fall as he hadn’t been able to bring his hands up in time to shield himself and pain lanced through his temple. _Is this all I have left…?_ He thought, bitter tears on his cheeks as his vision blurred, but despite that, he tried to rise…tried to reach out for the door. _Laxus…I have to check on Laxus…_ However, his body couldn’t cope with his demands and despair flooded him as his eyes slipped shut.

_Laxus…_

**

    His head was pounding when he drifted awake, and he grimaced at the pain, wondering what had happened, paying no mind to the weakness and heat wracking the rest of his body as that had become a constant companion over the last few days…but the pain in his head was new, and he couldn’t quite stifle a whimper as he forced his eyes open, startled to find a grim-faced Laxus leaning over him.

“Laxus…?”

“Don’t try to move,” the Dragon-slayer warned him, his tone harsher than he’d heard it in a long time and he blinked, feeling somewhat hurt at the reaction and apparently some of it had leaked into his expression because Laxus sighed. “What the hell were you thinking getting out of bed like that? Do you have any idea how it felt to walk back in here and find you unconscious on the floor, blood trickling down your face?”

“I…” _Out of bed…why did I try and get up?_ His stomach rolled as the memory came flooding back, and he completely forgot the order not to move and the pain in his head, lurching upright and reaching for Laxus with shaking hands. The rational part of him knew that Laxus was fine…hell, even his eyes were telling him that, but it wasn’t enough, not with the images from his nightmare flooding his mind once more and he ignored the muttered protest as he grabbed the front of Laxus’s shirt. “Are you okay? You’re not hurt? I didn’t…I didn’t…”

“Freed,” Laxus cut across the frantic whispers, all traces of his previous irritation now buried by panic as he grabbed the hands now clawing at his front, catching Freed as he swayed slightly as his body protested the movement. “Calm down…what are you on about?” Clearly, something had happened, but he had no idea what could have triggered this and looking down it became clear that the younger man was in no state to tell him at the moment. With a gentleness that very few people knew he was capable of he pulled Freed into his arms, wrapping his arms around him as the Rune mage began to sob. And he sounded so lost and broken that the Dragon-slayer felt himself tearing up at the sound and he frantically began to rock Freed as he started up with a constant litany of reassurances even though he had no idea what was wrong.

     It took nearly an hour for Freed to calm down completely, and by that point, he was barely awake, the new injury and the breakdown doing nothing for his already weakened condition. However, Laxus knew that he couldn’t just let him go to sleep without dealing with whatever had caused this, and he carefully shook the Rune mage, waiting patiently for dazed, turquoise eyes to meet his gaze.

“What was that about?” He asked gently, fearful of setting his mate off again but needing to know what was wrong especially when panic flashed across Freed’s face.

“I…I…” Freed was trembling again, his gaze now fixated on his hands and Laxus followed his gaze, unable to see what was holding his attention.

“Freed?”

“It was a dream…I know it was a dream, but…”

“It was too real?” Laxus finished for him, understanding dawning and his lips quirked into a bitter smile when Freed glanced up at him. “I’ve had ones like that too.” In the days following the events with Tartarus, he had been haunted by them, imagining what could have happened and the worst ones had been the ones where he had lost the Raijinshu - where he had lost Freed. More than once he had stayed awake for the rest of the night to watch over his mate, reassuring himself that everything was fine. _And yet I couldn’t see that it wasn’t…I missed what was happening to you._ Pushing that aside, he took a deep breath before cautiously asking.  “What happened?”

“I was a monster…I killed everyone, I killed you…there was so much blood and you were just lying there, and I was covered in blood,” Freed shuddered, his hands clenching as he stared down at them for a moment before turning back to Laxus with a mixture of desperation and pleading.  “Laxus…I can’t... I can’t become a monster like that. Please…” He had been terrified of losing himself to the demonic part of his magic from the moment Porlyusica had said that it might happen, but that fear paled in comparison to the sheer terror consuming him now. _I can’t hurt Laxus…_

“You’re not going to become a monster,” Laxus replied at once, wishing that he knew for certain that they could stop that from happening, well aware that no matter how often he said it or how strongly, there was no way that Freed would fully believe it until they knew for sure. _But I have to try,_ he thought as he met the others frightened gaze, willing Freed to hear his words.

“But…”

“It’s not going to happen,” the Dragon-slayer declared, cutting across the protest and leaning in until he was barely an inch away from Freed’s face, not looking away from his gaze as he added as strongly as he could.  “I won’t let it.” Leaning in he pressed his lips gently to Freed’s for a moment, trying to convey just how much the Rune mage meant to him…and how much he meant those words, and when he pulled back he rested his forehead gently against Freed’s. “You’re always going to be my Freed.” That much at least would never change, it didn’t matter what Freed looked like, what he became, he was Laxus’s mate, and that was something he would never give up.

“Promise?” Freed asked weakly, well aware that it wasn’t a promise that they could stop this, but rather a promise that he wouldn’t lose anything and somehow that was enough for now. Laxus pulled back and met his gaze once more, no sign of hesitation in his eyes before he lent in and pressed a gentle kiss to the Rune mage’s forehead before replying.

“Promise.”

****

The next day:

    Freed stood frozen in front of the bedroom mirror, wide eyes riveted on his reflection…or more accurately, the dark swathes of skin that were scattered across his torso, standing out against the paleness of his own skin. He had known that this was going to happen, Porlyusica had warned them early on, but he hadn’t been prepared for the sight of it, and he closed his eyes, wishing that it was easy to make it disappear properly and his hand shook wildly as he reached up to brush his fingers against it. He had always held a certain amount of fear towards his demonic transformation, he’d skirted to close to losing control in that form not to, but that pales in comparison to the fear he felt now… _Eventually, that’s all that’s going to be left of me…_

“Freed! What are you…?” Laxus had bustled into the room, only to come up short with an angry growl as he realised that Freed was out of bed yet again, even though the Rune mage had promised to stay put after his collapse the day before. However, his question trailed off into nothingness as his eyes immediately darted to the patches of dark skin before Freed had managed to pull his nightshirt shut to hide them. “Freed…”

“We knew that it was coming,” Freed muttered, somehow managing to sound somewhat composed even though he could feel his eyes beginning to sting as he shakily began to fasten his shirt. _I knew that this would happen…I knew it…but…_ His whirling thoughts were brought to an abrupt halt as warm arms embraced him from behind, and his breath hitched as he felt Laxus’s heart pounding, and with a small sniffle, he turned within the circle of Laxus’s arms so that he could bury his face against the Dragon-slayer’s chest. Tears beginning to trickle down his cheeks now that his face was hidden, and his hands crept up to clutch at the back of Laxus’s shirt. “Laxus…”

“I know,” Laxus whispered, his expression twisted into an anguished mask as he felt how badly the smaller man was trembling, pulling him closer as he rested his head against Freed’s. “We still have time.” He wasn’t sure who he was trying to reassure at this stage, but the words sounded hollow to his own ears, and he dreaded to think how they much sound to Freed. _Time…we need more than time, we need answers…we need a cure, and yet we’re no closer than we were…_ He knew that his grandfather had the whole guild searching for something that would help, and Ever and Bickslow were tireless in their efforts, but the fear that it wasn’t going to be enough had become all-consuming by this point even if he did his best to hide it from his mate.

“If…” Freed began hesitantly.

“Don’t,” Laxus cut him off abruptly, his tone sharper than he’d intended, but he already knew what Freed was going to say. It was the same topic that the Rune mage had been trying to broach since Porlyusica had first given her diagnosis, and deep down the Lightning mage knew that they did need to discuss it. Yet his stomach turned at the mere of thought of it because if they discussed it, it would be mean admitting aloud that there was a chance that they might run out of time…that he might lose Freed, and there was no way he was ready for that. “Please…” _Please don’t make me say it…don’t make me face the thought of a future without you…_

“I’m not admitting defeat,” Freed reassured him, pulling back just enough to peer up at him with red-rimmed eyes. _Yet,_ he added silently to himself, well aware that at least a small part of himself had begun to accept that this was really happening and that it was looking less and less likely that they were going to be able to find a cure. “But we have to be prepared. If we can’t stop this…”

“We will…”

“But if we can’t,” Freed cut across him gently, fingers tightening against the Dragon-slayer’s back, the only outward sign he would allow himself to give of how dismayed he was by that thought. “I don’t want to become a monster…” There had been a time when he was younger and truly struggling to control that transformation when he had feared that he would become a monster, but the Raijinshu and Laxus had made sure that that fear had become a distant memory. Fresh tears trickling down his cheeks as he knew that this time there was nothing they could say that would drive that fear away. “I…”

“Don’t…”

    Freed wanted to press the issue. Despite the warmth from Laxus’s promise the day before he knew that they needed to have another plan, and he closed his eyes as he realised that he had already accepted that this wasn’t going to end well…he knew his own body, he knew that his strength was fading far faster than he wanted to admit, mocking Laxus’s declaration about his strength. _Time is running out…_ He had barely seen his teammates since coming home, and he knew that they and the rest of the guild were frantically searching for an answer, but deep down he knew that they weren’t going to find anything. _I don’t want to become a monster…_ Yet he couldn’t bring himself to force the point as he saw the pain in his mate’s eyes, well aware that Laxus was suffering in his own way and if nothing else he wanted to spare him from what little he could.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered instead, feeling Laxus’s arms tightening around him. _I’m sorry, but one of us has to accept this reality…but it’s okay, if it’s the only thing I can still do, I will protect you from this as much as possible…I will protect you from what I’m going to become._ He hadn’t forgotten those nightmarish images, and there was no way he could let that happen…and he would do whatever it took to protect the Dragon-slayer.

_Please…don’t hate me for this…_

****

Two days later:

    Freed was fading fast now, no matter how much he tried or how much encouragement Laxus gave him, they both knew that time was running out…that even this much time had been a miracle, and Laxus was coming apart at the seams as it dawned on him that they weren’t going to win this battle. He still adamantly refused to talk about what they were going to do if the worst happened, both with an increasingly desperate Freed…but also with Porlyusica and Makarov who had pulled him aside to talk about the possibility, after all, there was no way they could allow a demon to roam free, but he had refused to listen. _I can’t think about it…I can’t lose him…_ However, in the end, he had agreed to have their flat sealed off so that if something happened before they were prepared the only one in danger would be him, and no one had even dared to suggest that he leave.

    Evergreen and Bickslow had been furious with the decision even if they could see the logic behind it, and they had immediately demanded to be allowed to stay with their captain. Laxus had been ready to cave to their demands even if it meant putting them in danger, well aware that they loved Freed almost as much as he did…but, in the end, it had been Freed who had put his foot down. It had taken quietly sharing his nightmare and his terror that it could become a reality to finally convince them and even then it had only been to try and spare him from more pain.

     The mood had been grim when they had said their farewells, Evergreen losing her usual composure as she wrapped the weak Rune mage up in a tight hug, not caring about the rough patches of demonic skin that were showing through or the way his right eye was already beginning to darken to black. He had been one of the first to approach her without fear of the power in her eyes, and he had quickly wormed his way through the barriers she had erected around herself just by being himself. There were tears on her cheeks as she pulled back, promising to come and see him the next day, although somehow they all knew that wasn’t going to happen.

    Bickslow had been completely silent as he stepped up to the bed, clearly hesitating before reaching out to grasp Freed’s hand in his own, his expression darkening as he felt how weakly the other’s fingers curled around his. He had hit it off immediately with the Rune mage even though there were so many differences between their personalities and the thought that his best friend wasn’t going to be there left a hollow feeling in his chest…

“Let me see your grin…” Freed’s quiet plea broke the silence, and Bickslow jolted at the request. _How am I supposed to smile when you’re like this?_ Even his puppets had been virtually lifeless the last few days, and he couldn’t imagine grinning again if they really did run out of time…let alone now when it felt like they were saying goodbye, although none of them had dared admit. And yet as he met the Rune mage’s gaze, he realised that this was something that Freed desperately wanted, and after days of feeling like a failure as they came up empty-handed time after time, he couldn’t bring himself to refuse. It took all his strength to force his lips into a rough approximation of his usual grin, even when it felt like he was breaking inside, and he knew that it must look terrible and yet Freed was smiling at him. “Thank you…”

**

    Freed let out a soft breath as the door closed behind his teammates as Laxus guided them out, tears gathering in the corners of his eyes as he realised that was the last time he was going to see them. It had hurt more than he had ever imagined possible to say farewell to them while pretending that it wasn’t a farewell…while pretending this wasn’t the end. It had been why he had needed to see the Skeith mage’s grin, no matter how forced, and it had warmed him when Evergreen had managed a somewhat teary smile for him as well while pressing a slightly teasing kiss to his cheek. _Please never lose those smiles…grieve if you have to, but don’t lose those smiles…please…_

    Shakily he rolled over, the simple movement leaving him out of breath and he had to close his eyes for a moment as the world span around him, and he could feel the darkness spreading even further across his skin. He had refused to look in the mirror since the other day, but it had got to the point where no matter where he looked on his body he could see the changes, but more than that he could feel them and he knew that his time was up…if he wanted to avoid becoming the monster that was lurking beneath the surface he had to act now. Oddly enough there was no fear at that thought, his terror about what he would be capable of if he became a demon overshadowing any fear he might have felt towards ending this…but there was pain and regret. His heart ached at the thought of leaving Laxus and his teammates behind, of not being able to share in any more of their or Fairy Tail’s adventures…of not being able to see them move forward, and not being at their side to support them. _But at least they will be safe._

    Knowing that he didn’t have long before Laxus came back and that the Dragon-slayer would try to stop him as Laxus was still firmly adamant that they could stop this…that he wasn’t going to lose Freed to this…and Freed didn’t want to argue with him, didn’t want to prolong his suffering, and it was that thought that forced his eyes open once more. His vision was blurring more and more by the moment, and his fingers were clumsy as he reached for the bedside table, struggling to pull the drawer open and pull out the small bottle that he and Porlyusica had hidden there the day before…trembling slightly as he curled his fingers around it. The healer had been his unwilling accomplice, although Makarov also knew what was happening as he had been forced to turn to them when he realised that Laxus was completely incapable of grasping the reality of the situation. Or rather unwilling to do what needed to be done, and he knew that both older mages were haunted by what they were doing, even though he had thanked them and he wished that there was more that he could do to ease their guilt. _This has to be done…he just can’t see that…_

    Glancing towards the door, he shakily managed to uncork the bottle, hesitating for only the briefest moment before his gaze slipped to the ring now adorning his finger and he faltered as he recalled how it had ended up there.

_“Marry me?” The question had come out of the blue, and for several minutes he had just gaped at the Dragon-slayer. Certain that he had either misheard the question or that he had finally reached hallucinations even though his fever had sunk to its lowest level in days and it had taken him a while to comprehend the serious expression on Laxus’s face._

_“Laxus…”_

_“I know…” Laxus cut across him, and his face was twisted with pain as he added quietly. “I know we might not have time.” It was the closest the Dragon-slayer had come to admitting that things weren’t going to end the way they wanted, and somehow that had been enough to silence Freed’s protests, and Laxus had seized the opportunity to continue. “But this is something I want…so, marry me?”_

_“I…” Freed has hesitated for a moment, not wanting to tie Laxus to him just in time to leave him, but staring into the soft blue eyes he hadn’t been able to refuse. It was selfish…cruel…and yet there was a fluttering sensation in his chest as he is managed to whisper his answer.  “Yes…”_

_“Yes?”_

_“Could I ever say no to you?” Freed asked teasingly, desperately trying to cover up the pain and guilt rising in his chest as he watched the hopeful smile that had crept onto his mate’s face, although there was a spark of honest humour at the deadpan answer he received._

_“Frequently…”_

_“Not about this,” Freed amended, realising that the Dragon-slayer was right…but only because he was one of the only people that Laxus would listen to, and there had been a soft smile on his lips as he reached up to grasp the Dragon-slayer’s wrist. “Never about this…”_

_“Good,” Laxus muttered, and there was a hint of colour in his cheeks as he grasped Freed’s other hand, visibly hesitating for a moment before slipping the ring that he had been concealing in his hand onto the Rune Mage’s ring finger as he added tenderly. “I love you Freed Justine.” Freed had stared wide-eyed at the band. He had thought that it was a spur of the moment request, and yet the simple silver band with golden runes etched into it had obviously been bought for this very purpose, and there had been tears in his eyes when he lifted his gaze to meet Laxus’s once more._

_“I love you too.”_

“I love you…please don’t hate me,” Freed whispered, running a finger over the ring and flinching as he realised that his nail had been replaced with the beginning of a claw. _I’m sorry Laxus…I’m out of time, and I won’t become a threat to you._  It was that thought that gave him the strength to lift himself enough to drink from the bottle, grimacing as he gulped down the foul-tasting concoction inside before letting the bottle fall, after all, there was no point in hiding what he’d done. Wearily he sank back against the pillow, bracing himself for the storm to come as he heard movement by the door seconds before it opened to reveal Laxus, and he tried to force a weak smile.

“Freed I…” Blue eyes widened as the Dragon-slayer sniffed the air, and Freed winced as Laxus’s gaze almost immediately darted to the bottle on the floor. Already he could feel the medicine working, what little strength he had remaining beginning to slip away and he blinked, he had to stay awake for this…he had to... “What have you done?!” Suddenly Laxus was at his side, hands clutching desperately at his arms, and he knew that the answer was written across his face as all the colour drained out of his mate’s face before he could even utter a word. “No…why? WHY? We had time…we still had time,” Laxus was sobbing by this point, broken, shuddering sobs that showed he knew that it was too late, that there would be no reversing what Freed had done. That Freed didn’t want him to…

“Please…I don’t want to become a monster,” Freed pleaded, tears of his own trickling down his face as he clutched the Dragon-slayer’s arm, staring up at his mate with desperate eyes as he felt his eyes beginning to slip shut. “Please…don’t hate me. I knew…you couldn’t do this...so I did what had to be done…please…”

“I could never hate you,” Laxus whispered brokenly, yanking the Rune mage into his arms, uncaring of the fact that Freed’s body was half demon by this point, burying his face into green hair as he added desperately.  “Do you understand that? You could become a monster! You could willingly kill people! But you would still be my Freed.” _My Freed…My mate…_ Pulling back he peered down at Freed and saw the hope and relief in Freed’s eyes, one now completely black and the other turning, and yet the look in them was completely human.  “I don’t hate you…I don’t h-hate you…I…” _I love you…more than anything or anyone in this world…I love you._

    Freed could hear the unspoken words, and his lips curled up in a weak smile as he lent against Laxus, relief flooding him and he realised at that moment that he had feared Laxus’s hate even more than he had feared the demon. _Thank you…Thank you for forgiving me…for loving me…for being here at my side at the end._ Weakly he tilted his head up, pressing his lips against the Dragon-slayer, forgetting about his semi-transformed state as Laxus responded tenderly, and it was with reluctance that he pulled away and stared into his eyes but he knew that he had to say this now.

“I love you…too.”

    It took Laxus a moment to realise that the strained breath that should have followed hadn’t, and for a moment everything froze as he stared blankly down at the Rune mage, his vision blurring as tears trickled down his cheeks. But then realisation sank in, and he moved to do something…to shake Freed…to give him CPR he didn’t know…deep down realising that it was too late, but unable to accept the fact, but he found himself unable to do anything as he realised that Freed was smiling…the idiot was smiling at him, and looking far more peaceful that he had for days and something in the Dragon-slayer’s chest shattered, and he let out a howl as he pulled Freed against his chest and buried his face in the green hair.

“Come back…please come back…”

_Freed…_

**

    Laxus had no idea how long he’d sat there weeping, clinging to his mate as the warmth slowly left Freed’s body and to be honest he didn’t care. The thought of having to move…to tell the others what had happened seemed unbearable…even breathing hurt right now and he wished that he could just curl up right here with Freed and forget everything. _Freed…_ He had known…deep down he had known that they were out of time, that there wasn’t going to be a miracle and yet he hadn’t been able to face up to…but Freed…His Freed had done what had been needed, and how he wanted to hate him for it…for leaving him, for giving up…and yet he had been completely honest when he had said that he didn’t hate him. If he hated him, there wouldn’t be this much pain…this darkness that had trickled in to fill the place that Freed had occupied. _Freed…_

    Sniffling he slowly pulled back, only to come up short as he realised that as a final act of mercy…or torture…Freed’s features had returned to normal, save for his right eye which remained completely ink-black and for a moment all he could do was stare. However, the blank, empty stare was too much to bear, and with a shaking hand, he reached out and tenderly closed Freed’s eyes. Only to find that in a way it made it worse as now the Rune mage looked like he was merely sleeping, with no visible traces of how close he had come to becoming the monster he had feared. _Your wish came true…_ He realised, blinking back fresh tears at the thought of how unfair it was that Freed would never know and he sniffled as he let his hand drop down to Freed’s cheek, brushing gently across the cool skin, before reaching down and linking his hand with Freed’s, feeling the cold metal of their ring.

 “Freed…I love you too…”

_Always and forever…you’re my Freed…_

****

Six months later:

    On the outskirts of Magnolia lay a small hill that offered a view out over the whole town, and it was this view that Laxus was currently taking in with a melancholy smile. It had been six months since Freed had died, and this was the first time he had returned to the town since his mate’s funeral…it had been too much to bear, watching as life resumed around him when it felt as though part of himself had died on that day. He had also found himself unable to forgive the fact that Porlyusica and Makarov had helped Freed at the end, even though he knew that it wasn’t their fault, that it had been necessary but more importantly that it had been what his partner had wanted…but he had been hurting and he’d needed something and someone to hate, not wanting his feelings towards Freed to become twisted and so he had yelled and cursed, and then left on an S-Class job, semi-hoping that it would be too much for him and that he would have a chance to be with Freed once more…

    Ever and Bickslow hadn’t tried to follow him for once, struggling with their own guilt and grief, and he sighed hoping that they were all right as he knew that Freed would never forgive him for not watching over them. It was why he had survived the job, why he had returned to Magnolia, why he was returning to Fairy Tail and his grandfather because no matter how much it still hurt, he knew that Freed had wanted him to continue. Everything he had done from the moment Makarov had asked him to watch over the Dragon-slayer, to the moment he had swallowed that cursed medicine, had been done to protect Laxus…but not for duty or gratitude but out of love…and there was no way Laxus could ignore that, even if there were a hollowness that would never be filled in his chest, or a faint tremor in his hands whenever he reached for the ring that hung from a green string around his neck.

    Taking a deep breath as he realised that he was wasting time, faltering for fear of what he might find waiting for him at the guild, he turned to look at the simple grave marker that stood just behind him and offering it a weak smile.

“I’m home,” he muttered, and for a moment he felt as though warm arms had wrapped around him as a familiar voice whispered in his ear.

“Welcome home.” The sensation disappeared just as quickly as it had appeared, but it felt as though some of the hollowness had eased slightly and he had to blink back sudden tears. _Freed…even now you’re protecting me…._ Reluctantly he turned away, shouldering his pack and forcing himself to move forward, after all how he could do anything else with a welcome such as that. However, he paused briefly as he reached the top of the path that led down to Magnolia, wiping at his eyes as he stared for a long moment at the inscription on the grave before turning away with a soft.

“I love you.”

**

_Freed Dreyar. Mate. Captain. Friend. Protector._

 


End file.
